Squeezed by FDNY for 'Coke' Positive
9/11 Survivor's New Ordeal

By REUVEN BLAU

For decorated Firefighter John Schroeder, joining the FDNY was more than just a logical career choice.

The Chief-Leader/Michel Friang 'I'LL JUST DISAPPEAR': Decorated Firefighter John Schroeder, who tested positive for cocaine in October 2004, is trying to convince the FDNY to allow him to retire so he can continue to receive his health and pension benefits. Otherwise, he said, 'I won't be able to survive.'

"My dad worked on the 157th Truck Company and my grandfather was a Chief on the job," he said last week.

Mr. Schroeder spent his first eight years as the hose man at Engine Co. 224 in Brooklyn. "I loved going to work every day," he said.

Among First at WTC

He decided to transfer to Engine Co. 10, the firehouse directly across the street from the Twin Towers, after a supervisor he was close with moved to that area. "I figured I'd get a little change," he recalled with tears welling up in his eyes.

Mr. Schroeder was one of the first to respond to both World Trade Center attacks, and barely survived 9/11.

But after testing positive for cocaine on Oct. 24, 2004, he is now fighting a different battle. He's trying to persuade the Fire Department - which has a zero-tolerance drug policy - to allow him to retire so he can continue to receive his health and pension benefits.

"Now with the department wanting to take away my health benefits - I won't be able to survive," he asserted. "It's been a rough seven years since 9/11."

His case has been bolstered by Administrative Law Judge Kevin F. Casey's recommendation that the 18-year FDNY veteran should be allowed to complete his application for a disability pension before being disciplined.

Also at '93 Bombing

Following the 1993 terrorist bombing, Mr. Schroeder helped extinguish the blaze from the explosion and assisted in the rescue of a colleague who had fallen into a huge hole in the Trade Center's sub-basement.

On Sept. 11, 2001, he was one of the first to arrive at the scene. "There was fire everywhere on the upper floors; people were already jumping," he recalled as his eyes became glazed.

There was mass chaos inside the lobby of the North Tower. He vividly recalled seeing FDNY Chaplain Father Mychal Judge and Chief of Department Peter Ganci at the command post. Both men perished that day.

"By the time we got there, the elevators in the lobby had exploded," he added in a hushed tone. "We kind of all knew we were going to die. We kind of said our prayers and proceeded up."

He reached the 23rd floor of the North Tower, where he stopped to help a colleague from Engine Co. 5 who had suffered a heart attack. "We started to work on him," he recalled. "The next thing we know we get a Mayday."

Barely Got Out

As the South Tower fell, he rushed out, but was briefly trapped because of a collapsed stairwell. He made his way back to the lobby, where there were multiple explosions, and escaped the North Tower right before it collapsed.

"We were the ones who made it down to the third floor, down the stairwell," he said. "We got trapped. And that's where Willie Rodriguez, the maintenance guy, helped us out from the third floor to the other stairwell. We got out and outran the building, down to North End Avenue."

Mr. Schroeder spent the next weeks working on the "pile" searching through debris and recovering body parts. In October 2001, after discovering a friend's remains, he was temporarily placed on light duty and assigned to the counseling unit.

Finding out which one of his friends survived or were killed in the collapse was a "nightmare," he said. In all, he personally knew about 55 of the 343 Fire Department employees who died trying to help evacuate people from the Trade Towers.

'Tough Getting Up'

"Every day is 9/11 in my life," Mr. Schroeder said repeatedly during an extensive interview in his lawyer's office blocks away from Ground Zero. "Since then it's been tough getting out of bed every day. I live in Brooklyn Heights. The view of my house is gone. The Towers were right in the backyard."

FDNY doctors have diagnosed him with post-traumatic stress disorder and severe and permanent lung damage. "It took me a while just to get over the Brooklyn Bridge," he said, referring to his debilitating psychological trauma.

In May 2005, Mr. Schroeder's application for a disability pension was approved by a panel and forwarded to the FDNY's IB Medical Board, which four months later confirmed that decision.

"I can't breathe on the hot days, I can't breathe on cold days," said Mr. Schroeder, who used to regularly ride his bike over the Brooklyn Bridge to work. "Forget about trying to exert myself in any situation. Up and down stairways in subways is just ridiculous."

'In Limbo' Since Test

His complete disability claim, however, has been pending for two years, due to the disciplinary matter which arose after he tested positive for cocaine in 2004. "I've been in limbo ever since," he remarked last week. "It's not fun being me now."

Mr. Schroeder's attorney, John W. Dunne, stressed that his client isn't looking to return to active duty. "Why isn't it enough that he gives up his job?" Mr. Dunne asked. "Why isn't that enough of a penalty? Why do they also have to take away the medication that he needs?"

He added, "It's draconian and it's punitive. It's wrong. Why can't the department just do the right thing? It's not going to set a precedent. It's really a tragedy."

Fire Commissioner Nicholas Scoppetta, however, has strictly enforced the department's zero-tolerance policy against banned substances in the past.

A Fire Department spokesman said the case is under review.

Admits Drinking Problem

Mr. Schroeder contends that he never used cocaine, but acknowledged that he developed a drinking problem after 9/11. "I was drunk since 9/11 - that was the only thing that helped me get through." he said, noting that he has been sober for a year now.

But he maintained that he never used cocaine. "That was just a bad test," he asserted.

Mr. Dunne contends that the drug test was compromised, because a confirmatory laboratory that re-tested the sample initially found a much higher level of cocaine metabolite than the laboratory that first analyzed the urine.

But the OATH judge dismissed that argument. Mr. Casey's recommendation noted that a third test, by the confirmatory laboratory, was consistent with its earlier analysis.

At the OATH proceeding, FDNY attorneys contended that Mr. Schroeder should be fired and lose his pension and health benefits in order to deter other firefighters from committing a similar transgression.

Penalty Excessive

Mr. Casey concluded that penalty would be excessive. "Allowing respondent to receive his work-related disability pension would not minimize the serious misconduct on Oct. 24, 2004, but it would give appropriate weight to the mental and physical injuries that he sustained on Sept. 11, 2001, and will remain with him the rest of his life," he recommended.

Commissioner Scoppetta, who has final disciplinary authority, has yet to decide on the matter. The OATH recommendation was issued on Sept. 28, 2007.

Sources indicated last week that the FDNY is awaiting the outcome of a pending appeal before the Appellate Division of a similar case involving a Firefighter who was fired after failing a drug test.

But it is unclear why the FDNY did not allow Mr. Schroeder to quietly retire right after he failed the drug test, as many other agencies often do with veteran employees.

'I Chose to Stay'

Mr. Schroeder himself pointed out that he could have left the department shortly after 9/11, as did many of his colleagues. "I decided to do the right thing by the department," he said. "We lost a lot of guys in the battalion. I was one of the senior guys to step up and stick around. And now because I stuck around, this is what I have to go through?"

Before last week's interview, Mr. Schroeder visited the rebuilt Engine Co. 10 firehouse. "It's a shame just to see that hole that I survived that day," he remarked. "All the people that I helped get out, and now nobody seems to be helping me get out."

Mr. Schroeder pointed out that his car with all his golf clubs and tools was parked under the Twin Towers on 9/11.

"My whole life is underneath that Trade Center," he said, rocking back in his chair. "Between my friends, my car, my life, my mind, my body, my soul - it was pretty much taken away from me. Everyday has been harder. I hope one day I wake up and the nightmare is over."

But like many other 9/11 first responders, his health is deteriorating. "I live on medication, every day," he said. "Without that medication I'd be a total mess. I wouldn't know how much longer I'd be able to live. I'll just disappear."

He added, "I survived that day for a reason. I'm going to find out one day what it is. I would like to carry on - just let me retire."