For The Record

The question of whether Mayor Bloomberg can go all the way to the White House was answered in the affirmative at the April 14 Inner Circle Show, contradicting the opinion expressed in its title, "Fat Chance."

The spoof by past and present City Hall reporters, with a significant portion of the proceeds going to small charities in the New York area, began with the premise that mayoral aides were secretly launching his candidacy for President by opening healthy fast-food restaurants known as "Bloomburgers" in New Hampshire and Iowa.

After Deputy Mayors led by WINS's Juliet Papa as Patty Harris sang about how life would change for them as presidential aides to the tune of "Move" from "Dreamgirls," they prepared to head down to Washington in yellow school buses chartered by Chancellor Joel Klein's new consultants, Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton. Aided by Randi Weingarten, Mr. Klein and company sang a parody of Credence Clearwater Revival's "Down on the Corner": "Down on the corner/ Out in the street/ All the city school kids are freezing/ And they're gonna get an incomplete."

Deputy Mayor Kevin Sheekey, played by Larry Sutton of People Magazine, chose Shakira, played by WCBS-TV's Hazel Sanchez, to serve as spokeswoman for the Bloomburger, and they served up a sizzling rendition of "Hips Don't Lie."

Mr. Bloomberg, played by Inner Circle President and WCBS-radio reporter Rich Lamb, pondered his options to The Clash's "Should I Stay or Should I Go?", singing, "I could be driving Air Force One/ And being POTUS would be fun/ So come on and let me know/ Should I chill or should I blow?"

He called in Health Commissioner Tom Frieden to inspect the Bloomburger stands, but they were soon invaded by rodents, prompting ex-Daily News reporter Molly Gordy as Councilwoman Melinda Katz to offer a rousing spoof of "It's Raining Men": "While the Mayor gets good press/ Preaching 'bout bad trans-fats/ He won't leave us a legacy/ Unless he can stop the rats/ It's raining rats!/ Holy Moses!/ It's raining rats/ Beat that."

Act 2 of the satire focused heavily on presidential politics and New York's own hopefuls. Former "Good Day New York" host Jim Ryan, playing Rudy Giuliani, to the tune of "Redneck Woman" sang, "The Bible Belt don't like me, you know I think that's swell/ I think I'll give the Pope a call and send them all to hell/ 'Cause I'm a Red State Mayor, and I don't take no guff/ I'm an Italian kid from Brooklyn, and you know I can be tough."

His wife, Judy, played by a blow-up doll and the voice of the Post's David Seifman, didn't fare as well. Her ambitions were deflated when she was whacked by a golf club wielded by Andrew Giuliani, played by Andrew Siff of WNBC-TV, who used a Maroon Five tune to sing, "His love has taken its toll on me/ I won't campaign, I'll shoot birdies galore/ She can't make me call her mommy/ I'll be a star, the big man on the pro golfers' tour."

Hillary Clinton, played by Mary Alice Williams of WCBS-radio, and Barack Obama, with ex-Daily Newser Bob Liff standing in, serenaded each other: "We are both united/ Tossing Bush on his rear/ It's nice work if I can get it/ But I can't get it if you're here."

As Vice President Cheney, this newspaper's Richard Steier, backed up by WABC-TV's Taina Hernandez as Scooter Libby, parodied "Everybody Plays the Fool," concluding, "Ohhh, Rummy's long gone but I told him, Don/ Count on me babe to carry on/ I'm stickin' to our master plan/ Next time around we can bomb Iran/ Ohhh, everybody goes ka-boom, sometimes/ Korea gets the big bang-zoom/ I'll sweep them up just like a broom/ Everybody goes ka-boom."

WCBS-TV's John Slattery as President Bush joined with Polly Kreisman as Laura in a send-up of the Johnny Cash/June Carter song "Jackson" that began, "We got blasted in the mid-terms/ 'Cause we're screwing up the world/ We been spinning some fictions/Enough to make you want to hurl."

The show closed with an "American Idol''-style voter call-in that elected Mr. Bloomberg President.

"My secret campaign strategy paid off," Mr. Lamb as the Mayor declared. "The moment I said I didn't want the job, the public wanted me. And that $400 rebate check didn't hurt."

The evening was capped off by Mr. Bloomberg's appearance with the cast of "Mary Poppins," and using her umbrella, he floated off to Iowa and New Hampshire.